{"id":1523,"date":"2013-06-04T05:45:08","date_gmt":"2013-06-04T09:45:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/?p=1523"},"modified":"2013-05-26T12:31:57","modified_gmt":"2013-05-26T16:31:57","slug":"is-self-doubt-impacting-your-results-and-reputation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/2013\/06\/is-self-doubt-impacting-your-results-and-reputation\/","title":{"rendered":"Is self-doubt impacting your results and reputation?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"Recently, a client called and asked, \u201cHow bold is too bold when seeking a new job?\u201d\u00a0 My answer was, “It depends, can you share some details?\u201d\u00a0 There was a laugh and acknowledgement that, of course, the details were important.<\/p>\n

Her situation?\u00a0 After three interviews (where she had developed, prepared and made major presentations to groups of up to 20 people), an invitation was extended for a fourth interview the following Monday.\u00a0 This interview required her to develop a 4th<\/sup> original presentation on a topic specific to the work she would be doing for the organization.\u00a0 And, this time, to deliver the information to a group of 50, including senior staff and investors.\u00a0 My client, a highly credentialed and published professional in her field, admitted that after the last required presentation and subsequent conversation with the hiring manager, she was feeling a bit unappreciated, used and overwhelmed with self-doubt.<\/p>\n

Her questions included : Did I already mess up this opportunity?\u00a0 Do they not value me and the skills I bring?\u00a0 Did the potential employer expect her to work for free? \u00a0 Additionally, she began to wonder:\u00a0 Maybe I can\u2019t do the job; maybe they don\u2019t see my skills; or maybe they have no plans to hire me after four interviews.<\/p>\n

As she recapped the events and the conversations of the week, her emotions bounced from self-doubt to frustration to anger.\u00a0 She shared she had it! Enough!\u00a0 She needed to stop the doubt train, but how?\u00a0 She took action.\u00a0 She called the hiring manager and said in a\u00a0 bold tone, <\/strong>\u201cHire me and I will make the presentation for you on Monday, your investors will love you, and if I don\u2019t work out, you\u2019ll know and you can let me go.”<\/p>\n

What followed was the voice in her head screaming, \u201cOh no!\u00a0 What did I just do? I was too bold<\/strong> in that statement and now I may never get hired!\u201d<\/p>\n

Quickly, she realized the real issue was not being too bold.\u00a0 The real issue was addressing her doubt and frustration and learning how to managing her emotions in a productive manner.<\/p>\n

She was right.\u00a0 She needed to learn how to manage her self-doubt so she could deliver the same message, in more constructive way, to the hiring manager to obtain the outcome she desired.\u00a0 In this situation, she was too bold for this particular hiring manager — a job offer did not materialize and the hiring manager stated in an email he was disappointed she declined the final interview.\u00a0 Her emotions got the best of her at a critical point in the conversation.\u00a0 She reacted instead of responding.<\/p>\n

Do you ever find yourself in this type of situation?\u00a0 It can be a tough call, especially if you are feeling like enough is enough<\/b>.\u00a0 I imagine you have experienced similar situations — I certainly have.\u00a0 And, for a long time, I always seemed to handle them in a less than ideal way.<\/p>\n

What finally helped me?<\/strong>\u00a0 Working to manage the situation before I arrive at the “enough is enough” place and<\/em> to be intentional and clear about what I will do when a similar situation arises.\u00a0 I wish I could tell you that these days I am always good at managing those situations, but I can\u2019t – it is a work in progress.\u00a0 However, I am much better and rarely do I cross the line to very bold and direct without it being an intentional choice.<\/p>\n

Here are the steps that work for me:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Get Clear<\/strong>.\u00a0 Think about what you want and what you’re willing to do to achieve what you want.\u00a0 Example: For my dream job, I am willing to commute, but not willing to relocate.<\/li>\n
  2. Write it down<\/strong>.\u00a0 Write down what you want, why it is important and your intentions.\u00a0 Example: Do you want a job offer?\u00a0 Do you want to be liked?\u00a0 Do you want to be seen as the new director and the next VP of Operations?<\/li>\n
  3. Think about what to say<\/strong>.\u00a0 Does your message match your personal brand?\u00a0 Does your message help you achieve what you truly desire?\u00a0 Does your message fit your target audience?\u00a0 Is there better way to say it?\u00a0 Does your message come across the way you want it to?\u00a0 Draft your message on paper, if needed, and ask your coach to help you fine tune it.<\/li>\n
  4. Take Action<\/strong>.\u00a0 State your message, share your value, be open and continue the dialogue.\u00a0 Example:\u00a0 Mr.\/Ms. Hiring Manager, we have been talking for over 8 weeks.\u00a0 During that time I have prepared and presented three very solid presentations during 3 separate interviews demonstrating my skills, knowledge and expertise, wouldn\u2019t you agree?\u00a0 <wait for reply>\u00a0 What is it you have not seen or learned about my qualifications that you hope a fourth interview\/presentation will provide for you?\u00a0 <wait for a reply>\u00a0 Normally, for the type of presentation you have requested I am compensated as a consultant or speaker.\u00a0 Should we discuss my joining your team in this manner or for a trial period as an employee?\u00a0 <wait for reply><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    These four steps serve as my guide and help me focus on the desired end result.\u00a0 They help me manage my self-doubt (real or imagined) so that I may perform at the top of my game.<\/p>\n

    I learned and fine-tuned these steps several years ago by asking for my coach for help.\u00a0 I needed a process to help me refocus and be more effective when low-vibrating emotions and self-doubt arose.\u00a0 Through this work, I replaced the “enough is enough” attitude and quick, bold replies with steps that helped me achieve my goals.<\/p>\n

    Are you looking for support to overcome your own self-doubt or blind spots?\u00a0 Working with a coach can be very helpful in achieving amazing results of your own.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Recently, a client called and asked, \u201cHow bold is too bold when seeking a new job?\u201d\u00a0 My answer was, “It depends, can you share some details?\u201d\u00a0 There was a laugh and acknowledgement that, of course, the details were important. Her situation?\u00a0 After three interviews (where she had developed, prepared and made major presentations to groups […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,29,98,94],"tags":[5,37,46,101],"class_list":["post-1523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-action-tips","category-career-management","category-interviewing-2","category-mindset","tag-focus","tag-interviewing","tag-reputation","tag-self-doubt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1523"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}