{"id":962,"date":"2012-06-05T05:12:47","date_gmt":"2012-06-05T09:12:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/?p=962"},"modified":"2012-05-28T07:41:16","modified_gmt":"2012-05-28T11:41:16","slug":"help-how-do-i-tell-my-family-to-butt-out-of-my-job-search","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/2012\/06\/help-how-do-i-tell-my-family-to-butt-out-of-my-job-search\/","title":{"rendered":"Help! – How do I tell my family to \u2018butt out’ of my job search?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This is an interesting question.\u00a0 It came from someone who is really running a focused and productive search.\u00a0 The question came as he prepares to travel to a family wedding followed by a family reunion.<\/p>\n

Family events, holidays, etc. can be fun, uplifting and stressful all at once.\u00a0 Or at least those with my family can be and that is really my only experience I have in this arena. Don\u2019t get me wrong I love my family, but with five kids, spouses, grandchildren, great-grandchildren\u2026you get the picture.<\/p>\n

I suggest you set some boundaries, and focus on the event rather than your search.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to ignore possible help or a great networking opportunity.\u00a0 However the odds are you don\u2019t need added stress, a drilling about being out of work, or loads of career advice.<\/p>\n

Your family cares about you and they want to help.\u00a0 So, be prepared to tell them specifically how they can help you.\u00a0 It will help you avoid listening to extra advice, long sad stories and set a neat boundary around your job search.<\/p>\n

Here is my suggestion.\u00a0 Be well prepared to deliver a 30-second introduction, 100% focused on your ideal position, include your top three target companies and when you wrap up your 30-second comments explain how the person you are addressing or anyone else can help.<\/p>\n

Imagine you are at the reunion, Uncle Ben walks up and begins to pick around the edges starting a conversation about your job search or point blank says \u201cGrandma tells me you are still out of work, you could move back to town and work for your brother\u201d.\u00a0 How can you respond?<\/p>\n

You can say,<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a great suggestion however, my brother doesn\u2019t have an opening or a need for <fill in the blank with your target job title & experience; then describe your ideal job in one sentence<\/em>> and I am targeting <list your top companies<\/em>>. \u00a0I am looking forward to joining one of these three organizations soon.\u00a0 You could help me a great deal if you would share your contacts at <repeat your top three target companies<\/em>>.\u00a0 Would you do that for me? \u00a0(Add a brief pause<\/em>, as you take a pen and paper out of your pocket)<\/em> \u00a0Can I get the names of your contacts and their phone numbers at <repeat your top three target companies<\/em>> now? \u00a0\u00a0(Pause, look Uncle Ben in the eye and smile<\/em> and add<\/em>) Or feel free to call or email with your contact names and how to reach them by phone at a time that is best for you.\u00a0 Thanks for your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

This technique allows you to set a respectful boundary around your job search.\u00a0 You will have shared the critical information about your experience, the job you are seeking, and you will have provided a specific manner for someone to help you if they wish to do so.<\/p>\n

The technique also allows for a graceful transition to another conversation in a manner that is good for you and honors your relationship.\u00a0 It allows anyone wishing to help with contacts to do so in a specific way at that moment or when it is best for them without any pressure or requirement to do so.\u00a0 You will have created a polite boundary and space for the conversation to flow to another topic. \u00a0And it takes less than a minute to do this!<\/p>\n

You can modify this technique and use it in other situations too.\u00a0 It is a powerful way to gather contacts and set boundaries.<\/p>\n

Do you have a question about your search? Look to the right and sign up for next Q & A session, join the session and ask your question.<\/p>\n

Post your suggestion to help others or your comments below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  This is an interesting question.\u00a0 It came from someone who is really running a focused and productive search.\u00a0 The question came as he prepares to travel to a family wedding followed by a family reunion. Family events, holidays, etc. can be fun, uplifting and stressful all at once.\u00a0 Or at least those with my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,44,25],"tags":[13,142,5,10],"class_list":["post-962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-action-tips","category-job-search-2","category-networking","tag-accelerate-your-job-search","tag-career-management","tag-focus","tag-job-search"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=962"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/accelerateyoursearchnow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}