Last week, I shared how one experience created many limitations for me over the years in both my career and in business. I allowed the past to limit my future.
For a long time, I did not stop to think, design and intentionally review the opportunities presented to me. And, unfortunately, I did not realize it or know why. Years later, I have come to understand my behavior and spot it in a second! Now, I do my best to pause in lieu of reacting immediately.
Here is the story that created my limiting beliefs:
It was my first solo sailing trip after purchasing my sailboat. I had learned how to sail, purchased the boat and went out alone on a great summer day. Unfortunately, I opened my sails too fast and very quickly the wind caught the main sail. The wind shifted the boat and dumped me in the water. I am a good swimmer and almost fearless in the water. Yet, on that day, the wind was strong and the water cold. I felt the sting to my confidence of being ill prepared for a brief minute.
This sting momentarily rattled my confidence and tested my knowledge. A voice in my head said, “You don’t know enough to do this alone.” That voice was scary and loud.
A moment later, I climbed back aboard the boat and I immediately knew I could correct for the error I made — so I did. I tried again and enjoyed sailing for another couple of hours. I was happy, had fun and went home to share the events of the day.
As I shared my adventure with others, they added their voices of concern to the little voice in my head that kept repeating, “You don’t know enough to do this alone.” Over time the voice in my head, and the voices of others, grew to sound like a bold, robust choir! I started to believe that perhaps the others knew better than I did. What if they were right? What if I did take too many risks?
In the moment that I lifted my head out of the water that day and the cold wind stung my face I began to write the ending to a story that would evolve and limit my opportunities for many years. My story that resulted in quick “NO’s” kept telling me, “Don’t be too fearless. Don’t be too courageous. Don’t risk too much.”
Now when that choir shows up like a cold wind, instead of saying “NO” immediately, I use it to offer encouragement to myself to pause and assess each opportunity. When that sailing experience flashes through my mind, I see it as an opportunity to design, craft and set an intention for each opportunity before me. Rather than being a limitation, as it initially was, it is now helpful.
What story do you tell yourself that limits your opportunities?
What story or stories do you need to review?
If you are a courageous, do-it-yourself person, much like me, you may be putting off seeking help and support. I can tell you I did not learn to turn off the choir and write new endings without help.
Just like learning to sail, building a career or a business are adventures that are much more fun and profitable when they are not solo adventures. I sought out mentors, coaches and many others to help me. Who is helping you rewrite your “stories?” Who is helping you build and transform your career?
If you are ready for a career, business, or life experience that will transform your work and create an amazing new career filled with fun and many opportunities, let’s talk.
That’s a good story to help illustrate your point. It is so true that our past informs our present choices, which then impacts our future. And taking time to question the story we tell ourselves is essential. Just the other day, I felt like there wasn’t any wind to move my sail boat. As I reviewed my life, I realized I’d felt this way for a while. And of course, this is very deflating. When I started to question my story, I realized that I didn’t have to believe the “Doubting Debbie” voice that told me my dreams aren’t coming to fruition, and that I’ve been wasting my time. I realized that the story I was telling myself was more dangerous than those winds and cold air that helped dump you into the water. What a good lesson. Now, I can see the past for what it is, without being victim of my own judgment. That brings me freedom.
I wanted to just finish by saying that the story the Doubting Debbie told me wasn’t even true. It just felt true when I allowed her voice to be the only one in the choir. In fact, there were many evidences to consider, which helped me see how well things are going! Doubting Debbie would have had me believe I was failing. But, I’m actually doing quite well, and questioning the story was important to regain a full perspective.
Thanks for this. I had a money story that was limiting my success. But not any more.
Frances, Thank you for sharing your comments and how you paused to look beyond the the story to the evidence and discover a full perspective,
Lorraine, I am delighted your old story no longer limits your current or future success!
Thanks for sharing your story Cindy. I think it’s VERY common to have stories that limit our success. And sometimes, it’s definitely the best thing to ask for help!
Dorothy – I agree it is ‘VERY common’, what is not so common is the awareness of the blind spots our stories create for us. Have an amazing day!
Thanks for sharing your very personal story. We all have them. The trick is learning, as you did, to spot the story and to not let it limit you any longer.
How’s the sailing going these days?
Lilia,
You got it – Spotting and Learning are the key to putting a pause button on most of our self-limiting stories, thoughts and actions. Sailing is much more fun as is most of life’s joys and chores.
Appreciate your insight. Have an amazing day!