The phone rang and the question was, “Why do they hate me?”
The person asking is a member of team I’ve worked with for some time. This team leader set an intention to impact the team’s service at all levels before his retirement. As a person, and a leader, he is legendary for his service focus.
The caller is always professional, liked by all new customers and those who casually interact with him. He provides adequate service and has solid enough performance to maintain a place on the team. However, he is seen by the team as a person unaware of several of his BIG blind spots.
We ALL have blind spots and this team knows that well. In fact, all team members except the caller have identified many personal blind spots. By doing so, they impacted results, fulfillment and increased their personal satisfaction, adding fun and joy to their work.
As the leader’s retirement approached, the team was deeply involved in hiring his replacement — interviews had even occurred earlier that day.
I confirmed the “they” he referred to was the team. Then, knowing the team as I do, my reply was a question, “How do you know they hate you?”
I was immediately met with resistance and defiance (“No one is going to fire me or make me quit!”). Then the caller hung up.
His resistance hung in the air around my desk for a bit.
The caller was stuck. The story was spoken, believed and holding the caller in place.
What questions are you asking? What stories are you telling?
Is your story creating resistance to satisfaction and fulfillment?
Have you created resistance that is holding you in place? Share your thoughts below.
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Ah yes, we are all on occasion stuck within the story we are telling because we truly believe it to be true. After all, we can find the evidence of the truth right? Whenever we feel that resistance it’s a sure-fire clue that there is more to the story than we are able to see at this time for sure. Interesting client, I’d really be interested to hear how this one turns out!
Agree – It is easy to get stuck and yes we all do from time to time. Bonnie agree with you resistance is often that feeling that can help break out and see more – when there is a desire to do so. The great thing is when we own our stories we get to write the endings.
Resistance is a sneaky one. It shows up in all of us and to be able to move away from it, you have to be open enough to know that your perception may be incorrect or faulty.
Your example exemplifies to me someone who is vested in that particular perception and is very afraid to move away from that.
I agree with you that questioning your own beliefs is an eye-opener. But only when you are ready to let the status quo go.