Accelerate Your Search™ Now

The phone rang and the question was, “Why do they hate me?”

The person asking is a member of team I’ve worked with for some time.  This team leader set an intention to impact the team’s service at all levels before his retirement.  As a person, and a leader, he is legendary for his service focus.

The caller is always professional, liked by all new customers and those who casually interact with him.  He provides adequate service and has solid enough performance to maintain a place on the team.  However, he is seen by the team as a person unaware of several of his BIG blind spots.

We ALL have blind spots and this team knows that well.  In fact, all team members except the caller have identified many personal blind spots.  By doing so, they impacted results, fulfillment and increased their personal satisfaction, adding fun and joy to their work.

As the leader’s retirement approached, the team was deeply involved in hiring his replacement — interviews had even occurred earlier that day.

I confirmed the “they” he referred to was the team.  Then, knowing the team as I do, my reply was a question, “How do you know they hate you?”

I was immediately met with resistance and defiance (“No one is going to fire me or make me quit!”).  Then the caller hung up.

His resistance hung in the air around my desk for a bit.

The caller was stuck.  The story was spoken, believed and holding the caller in place.

What questions are you asking?  What stories are you telling?

Is your story creating resistance to satisfaction and fulfillment?

Have you created resistance that is holding you in place?  Share your thoughts below.

Ready to align awesome?

Contact me to discuss how the power of questions and coaching can transform your life, your results and your impact in the world.

Doing the work you love, living your purpose and having impact is fun and amazing!

You did it.  You made a mistake.  Now what?

Trust me, it is not the end of the world — even if you did something illegal, immoral or unethical (though, if this is the case, it will be a bumpier road ahead).  There is life after being fired.

This does not need to be the end of the road.  You are not the first person in the world to get fired.

First, sort out your emotions.  Take a breath.  Tell your family.  If there is something you need to address or apologize for, get it done.

This does not need drag you through the mud or scar you for life.

Second, if there is a behavior or attitude you need to address, decide if you want to address it or not.  Only you can do that.

Know that if you are an ogre who eats people for breakfast or you are the world’s cruelest boss, you have two clear choices:  1)  Find a job where it is OK to eat people and be cruel; or 2) Take an honest look at your behavior and the feedback you received.  Then decide — do I want to learn to alter my behavior or do I deem this behavior as acceptable.  And, by acceptable I mean it will not interfere with your life and future career plans.

Or if you’re thinking, “I am not an ogre, this was a minor infraction.  I was late for work again.  In fact, I am so mad I could spit nails because this is so unfair.  I can’t believe someone would fire me for this tiny thing.”

Again, you have two choices:  find a job where this “tiny thing” is acceptable or learn from what happened, alter your behavior and move forward.

I get it.  MOVING FORWARD MAY NOT BE EASY, but you can do it.

This may be a very emotional time.  Being without a job is tough.

Even if you lost your job through no fault of your own due to a layoff, there will be stress and emotional highs and lows.  I will say it again, and I do it with love and concern, this does not need to be the end of the world as you have known it.

There are many resources and services to help you.  If you want help, you can find it.

The resources and services from Career Centers, counselors and coaches abound.

My hope and prayer for you is simple:  

May you move forward quickly.  May you never stop believing in you.  And, may you never feel that you must walk this path alone.

Today, may you pause and not despair, may you see value in your unique gifts.

May you share your amazing talent and skills with your family, a new employer and the world.

May your career shine bright and may you light the world with your gifts, your work and your life.

You CAN find help no matter the reason you are seeking a new job– even if you were fired.  Your first step?  Decide you are ready to move forward.  Then take specific, consistent action and land a new job.

Do you have a question?  Post it below or contact me.

It saddens me when people are stuck.  Sometimes they are so stuck they can’t see a way out.

I have the privilege to interact with and provide career search assistance to, sometimes, hundreds of people a week.  This allows me to help people create amazing results, and, it also allows me to witness some truly sad situations where talented individuals have lost thousands of dollars, their homes, their friends and great career opportunities — just by failing to see their blind spots.

Below is a list of the two most common blind spots I see.  If either of these sound familiar, stop and address them now, before you miss out on key opportunities and the job you’ve been waiting for!

Are either of the following showing up in your life?

1)  You won’t take action on what you know.

If you are saying “I already know that” — STOP.  If you know following up after an interview, a referral or a phone screening is what you need to do — JUST DO IT!  If you know writing a thank you letter after an interview is the right thing to do — DO IT!

There is a difference between knowing and doing. If you know what to do, take the action.  Knowledge is great.  Yet, knowledge without action will not garner results.

Action Tip #1:

Stop saying “I know that” and JUST DO IT.

2)  You’ve made it hard for people to help you.

If you asked for help, it is time to stop taking and listen.

Stop telling people all about your drama and how much you know.  Everyone has drama – their drama is just different than yours.

Instead, if you just want someone to listen to you, ask, “Will you listen to me for a few minutes?”  You’ll be surprised at how many people will say okay and give you their time so you can whine, cry or just share your drama.  You’ll feel better and be ready to move on.

Option 2: You can go to the park and talk, whine or cry to the birds or the squirrels. Both are good listeners and they rarely talk back!

If you ask for help and someone’s time, be kind and respectful enough to listen to what they say.  Believe it or not most people get it, and the odds are they too have been without a job at one time or another.

Next, ask for something specific, don’t beat around the bush.  State what you need and ask if they have an idea as to how to solve the problem.  Listen and take notes.  When someone is generous with their time, ideas or network contacts — listen.  Don’t judge the reply, evaluate it or offer a reason why the suggestion will not work.

Action Tip #2:

Listen and write.

If someone offers an idea you’ve already tried and it didn’t work for you – you might say “I did x, y and z.  How do you recommend I modify x, y and z to get better results?”

Working on these two things will go a long way to Accelerating Your Search!

Interested in more tips to Accelerate Your Search?   Give me call.

Or look to the right and sign up for next Q & A call, join the session and ask your question.

Who decides if you are overqualifed and why?  The employer does.  That’s who. 

Why is there so much focus on overqualifed?  I don’t know.  I, of course, do have an opinion on the matter, but I doubt that will help you accelerate your search.  However, maybe I can help you by looking at the issue a bit differently.

Have you ever said to a door to door salesperson, “Not today, thank you” or the Boy Scout “No thank you, I bought caramel corn from another scout before you” or “we don’t eat caramel popcorn, thank you for stopping by”?   In many cases the dreaded statement “You are overqualified for this position” is just simply a no thank you.

Yes, I know the dreaded statement stings.  It does not feel like ‘no thank you’ or does it?

What happens if you reframe “You are overqualified” to “No, thank you”?

My bet is you think the later stings less, but does it really?  Think about it.  It is still rejection.  Rejection is, in my view the underlying issue with most of the conversations around the issue and statement “You are overqualified”. 

No one (at least no one I know) likes to be rejected.  And almost no one I know likes to reject others.

Especially, if you are in business and interviewing someone or talking to someone with good skills, and loads of experience.  Most people don’t like to be mean or reject another person, even when they don’t personally connect.  Sure there are some that do, you know them, and I do too.

What would happen if you heard “No, thank you” in lieu of “You are overqualified for this position”?  Think about  it!

I once knew a hiring manager who, said “thank you” and allowed someone else to say “No, thank you”.  Here is how he did it – during the each interview he was very good at finding something good about all the candidates he rejected.  He picked out something good about the candidate and made a mental note.  At the end of the interview, he confirmed the candidate’s home phone number, and he called each one after an interview.  Usually he placed the call before the person arrived home and left a message, he would share the one good point he noted and thank them for interviewing.  He would end the message with ‘good luck, your <whatever the good point was> will be of value to your next boss.   I learned that good quality he shared with the candidate was always a quality he appreciated, but he did not value at that point in the role that he was attempting to fill.  

Why, did he do this?  Well, I never ask him, yet here is why I think he did it.

He cared about people and the feelings of people. He saw value and appreciated what each person offered.  He appreciated the time the person set aside to interview.  He did not like rejection, and he might want to hire the person for another position some day.  He was building a team and running a business.  The call was “rejection protection” – so that in the future if he had a role for the person, the person would recalled him in a positive light in lieu of the hiring manager who had once rejected them.  It helped him build relationships and create goodwill.

The end result – still the rejection, but the rejection did not address a lack.  It appeared to sting less.

In my view it can be hard to build talented teams when you focus on lack.  Yet most hiring systems and hiring situations will reject several people.  The process in most organizations is look at many, interview some, hire one.

The truth is you were not selected and someone else was for whatever the reason.  That feeling is rejection.

Yet if you reframe your feelings, and focus on your value and not  the ‘over’ or ‘under’ or what you lack, you may be surprised at what you attract.  Why continue to focus on the lack? 

My suggestion – understand you will be rejected from time to time, learn to cope with it.  You don’t need to like it, crave it, nor attract rejection with continued focus, thought and conversation. 

I would also suggest you not dwell on the rejection, or try hard to figure out why you were rejected, nor rail against the company, your experience or your age.  The rejection may be a blessing you can not yet count.  Reframe it as “No thank you”.   

One day on the radio I heard, rejection in dating referred to as protection from a bad situation.  What a point of view!

What would happen in your job search is you reframed the rejection or the statement “You are overqualified” as “No, thank you – I value you as a person and want to protect you from this situation”?

Just a different point of view on “You are overqualified”.

Feel free to share your comments below.