Does your past or present behavior impact your job search?
Is the hurt, anger, and frustration you feel impacting your search?
Maybe. Past behavior is a solid indicator of how you will perform in the future.
Unsettled emotions will show up when you least expect them — in an interview or during an important conversation. At these times your emotions may be evident and misunderstood. It is not always clear to you, or others, the impact your emotions have on your search.
The loss of a job brings up many emotions. You will grieve. It is a loss. Go ahead and grieve.
You may need to forgive someone. If so, I encourage you to do so. I am not an expert on forgiveness, but I do know the power forgiveness has had in my life. There are many experts. If you need one to help you forgive, seek out that assistance.
A very powerful tool in this process is journaling. Spend 5 to 10 minutes per day writing down how you feel about your job search. This is not about documenting what you are doing, but rather what you are feeling. It will allow your feelings to come to the surface and help you see the situation more clearly. Don’t type, write. Set a timer. Do not edit, correct or judge — just write. When the time is up, move on to the other tasks of your day.
Recently, a client share with me a blind spot he had uncovered after only one week of journaling. He felt it may have impacted his last 6 interviews! The sadness he was feeling did not come from the job loss, but rather the loss of connections within his prior organization. He realized these feelings were causing him to distance himself from people. The realization was very powerful for him.
You never know what you might discover (or not). The power of letting your feelings flow via your pen each day is amazing. Give it a shot and let me know the impact it has on you.
Journaling has been a part of my life since I was a little girl. It has helped me in so many ways. “You never know what you might discover (or not). The power of letting your feelings flow via your pen each day is amazing. ” I have discovered many things by the pen. I now recently am journaling 3 pages a day. I was inspired by a book the Paris Letters to do that. Thanks for this, so great!
Lorraine, Thanks for sharing about your journaling – WOW 3 pages a day -that is interesting. Many others may also enjoy the book that inspired you. So glad you shared your long time journaling habit.
This is a fascinating observation, Cindy. I’ll bet that there are millions of people who are unknowingly sabotaging themselves, especially during interviews. You’re right – journaling is a powerful tool for self discovery. There’s something about getting your thoughts out and then seeing them later, with fresh eyes that gives you distance and clarity.
Cindy,
You have touched on so many really important points in one article! I have worked with many of my clients around forgiveness and letting go of the attachment we have to staying angrey and hurt. In fact, I often recommend journals for that process too. Journal – SO much power in putting our thoughts on paper and yet so many people struggle with the ‘how’ of getting started doing it which is why I created the 21 Day Journal challenge. I found once you just get going with a little support, then you see the magic happening!
You shared SO much here! LOVE it and LOVE you
Cindy I totally agree that unresolved feelings come up in a variety of ways and have the potential of undermining a job search. Journaling is a wonderful way to get at the heart of one’s feelings and provides a safe place for affirmations, insights and breakthroughs. Thank you so much for this post!
It’s funny, but I gave up journaling because I didn’t like seeing my negative feelings show up on paper. I burned old journals that read more like venting books because I wanted to release that energy. Now, when I journal, it’s mostly to give gratitude and to pray. Perhaps I will include your suggestion of writing out feelings one day. It sounds like uncovering unconscious behaviors or beliefs would be a big reward!
Frances, your gratitude and prayer journal sounds wonderful. I learned from one of my mentors that journaling can create many benefits, not the least of which is your own wisdom. If you try the suggestion let me know how it works for you. Have an amazing day!