We make hundreds, maybe thousands, of choices every day — some critical and others not so much. Grape jam or strawberry jam on toast is a choice. Is it critical? Generally not.
Confidence is also a choice. A choice I put in the critical bucket. The “critical bucket” holds the most important areas of your life, the areas where you need to make intentional, conscious and informed choices — those that include your career and personal brand.
Confidence is that simple acceptance and certainty in your ability to succeed. You can see and feel confidence. Confidence has a clear, positive and powerful vibration.
Confidence is one of those qualities we admire when we see it. It is that quality of self-assurance that we see from both afar and up close. You see confidence, or the lack of it, as someone walks into a board room, onto a football field or even when a small child begins to peddle a bicycle down the sidewalk without training wheels.
Confidence is a mindset, a belief and an attitude. For me, that mindset comes from doing what I believe is right. It is also acquired by taking risks, learning, improving and graciously receiving feedback.
Sometimes confidence just shows up, but for me, at least at this point in my life, confidence is a choice. This has not always been the case and there are still times when my confidence wanes — like when I try something new or dare to step out of outside of my comfort zone.
I understand the power of personal branding on my personal and professional success, yet it was once a BIG struggle for me to have confidence in my own personal brand.
Clarity did not come as I thought it would. As I grew and evolved as a person what once fit no longer did and that created an internal struggle for me. The process was much like hanging out in the morning fog on a day when the fog never clears. I struggled and wandered through the fog because I lacked the confidence to share my uniqueness with the world.
If I did that I would stand out — what if someone laughed or thought I was nutty? What would that do to my career, my stable business, and my self-esteem? I wasn’t sure I wanted my apple cart turned upside down.
Then, I lacked the confidence to share myself in a bold manner — for all the reasons above and the additional fear of ridicule. Years ago in high school, I had dared to do be bold. I was met with laughter and mocking from the very girls I considered to be my best friends. When I reflect on that experience, the pain still pieces my heart. So, what would be worse? An upside-down apple cart or ridicule? I voted for neither. I was stuck — with no clarity and no confidence.
I had made the intentional choice to move in a direction. I wanted to move on to a more satisfying, fulfilled and happy life. Yet there it was – that one little ounce of doubt, showing up again. Where did it come from?
Was it a look backward? Was it my strong fear of ridicule or another past experience? Did I fear failure or was it success?
Any thought could lead me to dwell upon that distraction. After all, distractions and making excuses saved me from making a choice. It saved me from taking action and moving on to either success or failure. While I did not enjoy feeling in limbo, it was easy and held less risk.
That place of inaction became a place of comfort. Fear, worry or concern shook my confidence just enough to send me back to my comfort zone — to the place of inaction. I didn’t have the confidence to leverage who I was becoming and to share it with the world.
Rather than take action, I convinced myself I could do it own my own. I used every excuse and then judged myself for the excuses. I was not ready to step out and be confident in my ability to succeed. The excuses and inaction allowed me to not select success.
It was very hard to ditch the “go it alone” attitude, to seek honest feedback, to engage an expert to help me and to choose to be successful.
It took me a long time to gain the necessary confidence and make the choice to pick up the phone and engage the expert I knew could help me.
So, I absolutely understand the excuses. I know the fear of getting feedback — wanted or unwanted. I, too, hear that little voice that begins to chatter and causes confidence to wane. I answered no to the question, “Do you have the confidence to leverage what makes you unique ?” many, many times. I did it all — wandered alone in the fog and plodded along for years hoping to sort it out — before I got tired of holding success at bay and ditched my fear and finally said “yes” to success.
Post your comments below – what is holding you back from leveraging who you are and building a strong brand?
