“A leader may not have answers to all the questions, but knows how to ask the right questions” ~ Unknown
The above quote came to mind as I recently concluded a call with a former client. He called to ask assistance with a challenging situation — he and his spouse were both currently unemployed.
With both of their children in college, they are empty nesters and felt at a crossroads. They decided they wanted to talk to a career coach together. This was a new request for me. We agreed to set up a call where the three of us would discuss their specific situation and goals and determine if I, or someone in my network, might be able to assist them.
Oftentimes the stress of a job search can be exacerbated by the assumptions or expectations of a spouse/partner or other family member. Having clear, calm, thoughtful conversations with your spouse or partner is one way to address this challenge. Here are some powerful questions you can use to guide such a conversation:
- What are your concerns about my being without a job at this time?
- What are your hopes [or fears, or concerns] about the next position I will land?
- What type of financial planning or adjustments do you think are necessary at this time?
- In what timeframe do you feel we should review our financial situation?
- How would you like to be informed of my job search status?
- How would you like to help [or be involved] in my job search process?
- How will you feel if I am unable to find a job with similar status or salary?
An open conversation does not always result in immediate take-aways or agreements, but it will open the door to ongoing conversations that will will clarify your direction and help create a vision to inform your long-term career success.
Do you have a powerful question to add to the list above? Post it below.
I love that you are encouraging open and honest conversation with the spouse. Whether the issue is infertility or career search, open communication is a very important part of a strong relationship!
Isn’t it so important to always be asking the question “How would you like to help [or be involved] in my job search process?” We are so often in different places in any given day or during any time of a process. This is a key factor in maintaining a happy space during this highly charged time!!!
Very true about sharing with your spouse. Quite often, we just think that our careers are a solo thing and don’t think to discuss with our significant others.
I love these powerful questions and the encouragement to have open and honest communication in your relationship. Being able to answer these questions for yourself would also be helpful in having more awareness of your own needs and clarifying how you feel and what support you may be requesting. Thank you!
My wife and I are scientists and were laid off within 3 weeks of each other after 17 year and 19 year successful careers in biotech and pharmaceutical companies respectively. We had relatively stable jobs for almost 20 years, and none of us were expected this happen. After initial shock that lasted for a week or so, we started to work as a team towards the common goal: finding new jobs that suit us intellectually financially and geographically. After 4 months our journey to this goal still continues, we are making good progress and have now an attractive leads. All questions listed above are good and make sense. I would add two more:
1. How would you like to be helped in your job search efforts? Some possibilities: help with networking, share contacts on LinkedIn, resume critique, help with formatting, brainstorm questions to ask during an upcoming interview or just provide simple and valuable moral support and extra help with shopping/cooking/dishes etc.?
2. Lets discuss and put together a plan of job search with a timeline: What are the target days to start new jobs for each of us? What are minimum desirable salaries? What are intermediate goals along the way?
Boris, You have added two great questions. Thank you so much for these additions. I so appreciate your sharing how you and your wife are on this journey together and that you have attractive leads. Supporting each other and building a community of support as you know is key to career success. I will be looking forward to learning how your recent interview went. Have an amazing day!