Accelerate Your Search™ Now

The phone rang and the question was, “Why do they hate me?”

The person asking is a member of team I’ve worked with for some time.  This team leader set an intention to impact the team’s service at all levels before his retirement.  As a person, and a leader, he is legendary for his service focus.

The caller is always professional, liked by all new customers and those who casually interact with him.  He provides adequate service and has solid enough performance to maintain a place on the team.  However, he is seen by the team as a person unaware of several of his BIG blind spots.

We ALL have blind spots and this team knows that well.  In fact, all team members except the caller have identified many personal blind spots.  By doing so, they impacted results, fulfillment and increased their personal satisfaction, adding fun and joy to their work.

As the leader’s retirement approached, the team was deeply involved in hiring his replacement — interviews had even occurred earlier that day.

I confirmed the “they” he referred to was the team.  Then, knowing the team as I do, my reply was a question, “How do you know they hate you?”

I was immediately met with resistance and defiance (“No one is going to fire me or make me quit!”).  Then the caller hung up.

His resistance hung in the air around my desk for a bit.

The caller was stuck.  The story was spoken, believed and holding the caller in place.

What questions are you asking?  What stories are you telling?

Is your story creating resistance to satisfaction and fulfillment?

Have you created resistance that is holding you in place?  Share your thoughts below.

Ready to align awesome?

Contact me to discuss how the power of questions and coaching can transform your life, your results and your impact in the world.

Doing the work you love, living your purpose and having impact is fun and amazing!

Mid-year evaluations are complete.  Maybe you spent weeks tuned into the gossip about who would get a raise, who’s getting a promotion and who is on the way out the door.

Then you learned your verdict.  No promotion and only the standard cost-of-living increase or maybe no increase.  Or, you had been asking for help and instead got more work.  You hoped completing more work would, at least, get you promoted.  It didn’t.  Now you are frustrated, upset and unsure of what to do.

Do you really want to do something different?  If so, here are some practical suggestions to help you move forward:

 1. Identify the conditions you want to change about your work.

What are the true conditions and issues you want to change?  Clearly identify what you want and what you are willing to take action on.  It is difficult to resolve an unidentified condition or vague matter.  It is a challenge to request support if others don’t know what you want, what you need or understand the help you wish to receive.

2. Identify what you are protecting or avoiding.

Complaints and/or comments seem to be a way to release our internal stress.  But oftentimes, when the stress is gone so is the desire to change the matter.

If you have a strong desire to change the situation look deeper.  If you are just ‘blowing off stream’ or releasing your frustration, find a way to do so that does not cause harm to your reputation and your relationships with other people.  If you are avoiding something you fear, identify the fear and how you want to productively deal with it.

3. Set up your ongoing and future success.

Identify the actions and valuable resources that will help you gain knowledge about what changes and performance level are needed to secure your desired promotion.  Start with your conversations/interactions.  When someone asks, “Did you get the promotion?” share the news and your intention.

Here a suggestion: “No, I did not receive the promotion, yet.  Thank you for asking.  If you’re interested in my progress, would you like periodic updates, in confidence of course?”

Not getting the promotion you wanted can be disappointing and frustrating.  It can also bring up concerns, stress, and doubts.  Growing to the next level is exciting, fun and fulfilling, but it can also present bumps and challenges along the way.  Having the support you need to achieve your goals helps smooth the road.

Have you missed a promotion you wanted?  What is next for you?

What are your thoughts or comments?  Please post them below.

Who are you partnering with to grow to the next level?  Do you have a mentor or coach?  Have a question or want to talk about how you can get the promotion you want?  Give us a call.

Last week, I shared how one experience created many limitations for me over the years in both my career and in business.  I allowed the past to limit my future.

For a long time, I did not stop to think, design and intentionally review the opportunities presented to me.  And, unfortunately, I did not realize it or know why.  Years later, I have come to understand my behavior and spot it in a second!  Now, I do my best to pause in lieu of reacting immediately.

Here is the story that created my limiting beliefs:

It was my first solo sailing trip after purchasing my sailboat.  I had learned how to sail, purchased the boat and went out alone on a great summer day.  Unfortunately, I opened my sails too fast and very quickly the wind caught the main sail.  The wind shifted the boat and dumped me in the water.  I am a good swimmer and almost fearless in the water.  Yet, on that day, the wind was strong and the water cold.  I felt the sting to my confidence of being ill prepared for a brief minute.

This sting momentarily rattled my confidence and tested my knowledge.  A voice in my head said, “You don’t know enough to do this alone.”  That voice was scary and loud.

A moment later, I climbed back aboard the boat and I immediately knew I could correct for the error I made — so I did.  I tried again and enjoyed sailing for another couple of hours.  I was happy, had fun and went home to share the events of the day.

As I shared my adventure with others, they added their voices of concern to the little voice in my head that kept repeating, “You don’t know enough to do this alone.”  Over time the voice in my head, and the voices of others, grew to sound like a bold, robust choir!  I started to believe that perhaps the others knew better than I did.  What if they were right?  What if I did take too many risks?

In the moment that I lifted my head out of the water that day and the cold wind stung my face I began to write the ending to a story that would evolve and limit my opportunities for many years.  My story that resulted in quick “NO’s” kept telling me, “Don’t be too fearless.  Don’t be too courageous.  Don’t risk too much.”

Now when that choir shows up like a cold wind, instead of saying “NO” immediately, I use it to offer encouragement to myself to pause and assess each opportunity.  When that sailing experience flashes through my mind, I see it as an opportunity to design, craft and set an intention for each opportunity before me.  Rather than being a limitation, as it initially was, it is now helpful.

What story do you tell yourself that limits your opportunities?

What story or stories do you need to review?

If you are a courageous, do-it-yourself person, much like me, you may be putting off seeking help and support.  I can tell you I did not learn to turn off the choir and write new endings without help.

Just like learning to sail, building a career or a business are adventures that are much more fun and profitable when they are not solo adventures.  I sought out mentors, coaches and many others to help me.  Who is helping you rewrite your “stories?”  Who is helping you build and transform your career?

If you are ready for a career, business, or life experience that will transform your work and create an amazing new career filled with fun and many opportunities, let’s talk.

I love the summer season.  It brings play, work and fun into a different space for me.

Most of all, summer is a reminder to create, design, and intentionally write the endings to the experiences and stories of my life.

What about you?

Do you have stories you tell yourself that limit your opportunities?

For years I had many ‘stories’ that created interesting limitations.  One in particular came not from previous work experience, but rather from a sailing experience.

In my youth, I learned to sail with my dad and family.  I enjoyed sailing and decided to buy a sailboat.  This is where my limiting story began.

It took me years to realize how one event created so many far-reaching limitations for me. Later I was offered an invitation to ‘open my sails’ and I immediately said, “NO.”    Not, “No thank you” or “Let me have the details” — replies that would have allowed me to assess the opportunity and risk.  My reply was just “NO!”  It was a time when the winds of change were strong.  In an instant, I felt the winds on my face and decided the invitation was too risky.  Why?  On that day, I was not sure.  It was later, while talking with my coach that I sorted out the reason.

The simple answer?  A story from the past that instantly wrote an ending to this invitation.  An ending that felt too risky.

Do you do this with career opportunities?

What story do you tell yourself that limits your opportunities?

Join me next week for more about my sailing story . . .

Do you dislike networking?  Why is that?

Do you lack skill in this area or is something else holding you back?

Do you want to be a more effective networker?

Often professionals considering a career move or seeking a new position ask how important networking is to success.  My reply?  “Networking is critical to your career.”

When I inquire as to why they are asking, their answers vary.  Here are the most common replies from my clients:

“I am not a skilled networker.”

“Making small talk is not my thing, that’s why I don’t like to network.”

“Starting a one-on-one conversation is frightening.  I just can’t do it.”

“I find silence dreadful.”

“Networking seems like a waste of my time.”

“If networking is what it takes to get a promotion, I am worried about being promoted.”

Do any of these sound like you?

Professionals need networking skills.  At work, and in the world, you need to be able to effectively connect, engage and communicate with different people in various settings.  One of the best ways to develop networking skills is repeated practice of solid techniques.

Though, for many of my clients the challenge of effective networking is not totally about skill.  The actual issues can range from less than effective venues to support their goals to the type of networking they have selected to poor networking techniques.  Any of these issues can result in time invested with limited results leaving your feeling like networking is just a waste of your time.

For other clients, the challenges revolve around fears or beliefs about networking.  The big fears that show up for my clients are:

• Fear of starting a conversation
• Fear of not knowing what to say
• Fear of saying the wrong thing
• Fear of trying something outside of your comfort zone

Here is a quick assignment to help you see what you need to tackle first.  Jot down your answers to the following questions:

• What do you dislike about networking?
• What do you believe about networking?
• Do you want to improve your networking skills and/or networking venues?
• Are you happy and content with your current level of networking success?

Now that you have noted your answers, you will know what to tackle first.  Your answers will also help you determine if skill, fear or some combination is your biggest challenge.

Your next step is simple.  Decide what, if anything, you want to change.  Is this an area worth tackling?  You can start today and be networking more effectively by the end of the week.  You can discover more about tackling your challenges <here>.

Do you have a question or comment?  Post it below or give me a call.  I am happy answer your questions.

A few weeks ago, Nancy Tierney, a super gal and owner of Firecracker Communications, posted the article  “Do You Have An Upper Limit Problem?“.  Nancy’s post is a must read.

Here is why:

1.  She shares the definition of the “Upper Limit Problem” as explained in the introduction of Gay Hendricks book, The Big Leap.
2.  She opens the conversation as to what holds so many of us back.

Job seekers, those seeking promotion and entrepreneurs/managers trying to grow a business, so often “put the brakes on” success.  If you are ready to move forward and accelerate your search in 2015, then it is time to understand and reframe how you hold yourself back.

I hope you will read Nancy’s post and Gay Hendricks’ book.  Both are good and offer insight for the months ahead.  Then, I hope you will pause and ask yourself these questions:

1. What did I do last week to hold myself back?
2. What one thing would I like to change, or reframe, this week to land the job I want?

Think about it.  What limitations did you set for yourself today or this week?

Was it?

• You worked all day and you’re too tired to take one positive action to accelerate your search.
• Your family/kids/boss needed something, so you allowed that need to set the bar for how successful you can be today.
• You believe you are too shy, not enough or not worthy of a conversation.  Or, you are too busy looking for job postings to make one positive personal connection or contact today.

Is your internal thermostat set to low?

Is it you that is holding you back?

Do you have an “Upper Limit Problem?”

Have a comment or thought?  Post it below.